Marriage in ancient Rome was not about uniting two people. Instead, it was about creating a solid social and economic bond from the union of two families.

However, the legalities of a wedding were often accompanied by various archaic rituals designed to ensure a favourable union and bless and purify the bride and groom. Many of these ritual elements from Roman weddings — from the bride’s veil to crossing the threshold — survive in modern western wedding traditions.

Types of Marriage in Rome

There were various types of marriage in ancient Rome that catered for the different social classes and their matrimonial requirements: 

·     Usus. This most straightforward form of marriage simply required a couple to live together constantly for one year.

·     Coemptio. A slightly more binding union, coemptio involved a symbolic purchase of the bride by her husband.

·     Confarreati. The strictest form of marriage, confarreati was essential for Roman priests and the norm for the upper classes in republican times. It involved the complete absorption of a wife by her husband’s family, making her totally under his control or manus. 

However, during the Imperial period, marriage rules relaxed and it became possible for wives to achieve more independence and so retain some control of their lives. 

Setting the Date

Whatever the form of marriage, it was essential to choose the day of formalising the union with care — and certain times of the year were taboo for weddings. Marriage was forbidden during festivals to appease the dead, notably during February and May, while April and June were regarded as favourable. 

 The Bridal Outfit

There were also certain traditions regarding the bride’s outfit.

The wedding ceremony severed the bride from her father’s house, leaving her outside the protection of her family’s household gods. But as she had not yet joined her husband’s family, she was not protected by his family’s deities either, leaving her in a spiritual no man’s land. So her wedding outfit was designed to protect her during this liminal time.

Traditionally, the bridal outfit was simple. During the imperial period, the materials used for clothing and jewellery worn became more luxurious and ornate. However, the basic, traditional design of the bridal outfit remained, with many of its elements surviving in the Christian tradition. 

The traditional Roman wedding dress consisted of plain white woollen tunica recta overlaid by a white stola. Wool was a lucky fabric that repelled evil, so for extra protection, the bride’s garment was tied at her waist with a woollen sash, fashioned into a Hercules knot to ward off evil.

Traditional ornamentation of the bride was also simple and protective. Her hair was simply dressed after being parted with an iron spear to ward off evil. It was completed with a flora headdress of traditional, luck flowers and herbs such as marjoram. 

Besides the flowers, the only elements of colour in the bridal outfit came from the flammeum or flame-coloured veil, which covered the bride’s head and her saffron-coloured shoes.

The Wedding Ceremony

Before the wedding, it was necessary to seek the gods’ approval. An auspex or haruspex was called upon to perform this duty. A cross between a priest and a best man, he was an essential part of a confarreatio marriage where the omens were read in the entrails of a sheep sacrificed before the ceremony began.

Once the auspices were read, the ceremony could commence. In a strict-form marriage, the gods were first called upon: Janus, the god of thresholds, openings and closings; Juno Pronuba, the goddess of matrimony; Jupiter, the father god; Tellus, the earth and Hymen Hymenaeus, the god of matrimony.

The bride was not given away by her father. This was the province of the pronuba, the bride’s mother or some other female relative who had only been married once and had a living husband. The handing over of the bride would have been accomplished with some appropriate words of advice. 

The bride and groom then took vows to each other while clasping each other’s right hands, which the officiating priest tied together. Rings would have been exchanged and placed on the finger next to the little finger of the left hand. Despite the pragmatic purpose of the wedding ceremony, this finger was believed to be directly connected to the heart.

At the end of the ceremony, a sacrifice — generally of a pig — would have been made, possibly to ensure the couple’s fertility.

The Wedding Procession

The bride now needed safe conduct to her husband’s house before she fell under the protection of his household gods. So, she was accompanied on her journey by a rowdy crowd of torch-bearing well-wishers. 

These spiritual bodyguards consisted of three boys (each with both sets of parents still living) who guarded her front and sides. The one at the front carried a torch of whitethorn, a lucky material. The other two each held an arm. The bride herself carried not flowers but a distaff and spindle. 

The other wedding guests told bawdy jokes to keep ill omens at bay and shouted “talassio”, an age-old wedding cry whose meaning was lost even to the Romans. Nuts were thrown to ensure fertility-much like the modern rice or confetti.

Crossing the Threshold

 By arriving at her new home, the bride became a full domina or matron and once again acquired the protection of gods. But firstly, she had to cross the threshold safely.

At the entrance of her husband’s house, the bride would anoint the doorway with fat or oil. Traditionally, wolf fat was used, but later this became pig’s fat or olive oil. She then tied woollen fillets about the door to ensure good luck.

The bride could now enter the house — but she was not unaccompanied. Instead, two male attendants had to lift her to ensure she did not trip when crossing the threshold. Tripping on the threshold was considered unlucky because evil spirits lurked in this no man’s land that was neither within nor outside the house.

But once inside, the bride was safe. She would touch fire and water to purify herself and wash away her strangeness and any remains of the numen or spirit of her father’s house — and any bad influences she may have picked up upon the way.

She then offered a coin to her husband and, in return, received the keys to the house. A wedding feast now followed, as well as consummation of the marriage. Various other ceremonies also occurred in the days that followed, but it was at the point that the bride became part of the household that she was considered to have joined her new family and become a wife.